LivWithClairity: Do I Stay or Do I Go Now?

(Disclaimer: Trigger warning. Mature subject matter. Reader discretion is advised 18+)

Do I stay or do I go now? This question has been bouncing around in my mind a wee bit over recent days. I recognize I have exhausted myself. I’m tired in many ways. I keep telling God that I am ready for a tropical holiday where I can simply be and breathe. God knows I could use a little R n’ R. With that, some days I think, “right God, you know I am emotionally, mentally, and most certainly physically, depleted. You know how much effort I have put into creating a stable living for myself, whilst helping others discover their own subconscious patterns. I have done enough to help in my little personal sphere. You know I am tired, so, whatever rest which consists of little to no pain, as well as the honor of being able to hug a palm tree, would be brilliant.

You are my trusted and best friend. With that said, an earthly friend would be wonderful too. Let’s make this happen, yeah? If this is not in the cards for me then so be it. Let’s create another way to get me home”.

If there is one thing I know it is this, I am at peace with who I am and at peace with what I have come to learn about myself. I am also satisfied with my efforts in making a positive difference whilst here. With that, if I left my physical vessel now, I am confident I could create a projection of heaven for my personal enjoyment. I love my mind. Regardless of the condition I would find myself in. I love me. I can accept myself in my heaven.

“Clair, are you expressing a desire to end your physical experience?”, Clairity lovingly asked.

Yes and no. If I were being perfectly honest.

“If you were to take matters into your own hands, would you be expressing self love from a micro level right up to a macro level in that moment? Would you be able to see the cause and effect created from this decision, from a physical, spiritual, and overall energetic perspective?”

I know what I do not know. What I do not know is infinite.

“There is no judgment when choosing this path. This path is available to you. Your free will makes it so. All paths are source creations experiencing free will existence, within an infinite amount of space and energetic frequencies.

The law of polarities gives birth to fractal awareness which helps to create an illusion sense of separatism. Polarities are the gifts you receive so that you can identify yourself within an illusion called the ‘I Am’ within your life journey.

Polarities are vast and can be a scale between two different considerations up to three or more considerations. As an example, you are currently experiencing a sequence of three possibilities which are based around your energy levels, and your current state of self awareness. You assume what your heaven is like. Then you assume what your hell is like. These are polarities. Then you assume what earth would be like and whether or not it is better or worse than your assumed heaven or hell. You create another polarized angle of perception the moment you introduce earth into your observations and ultimate conclusion. By doing this, you are utilizing the natural law of assumption. You are doing this at all conscious levels, as well as by natural law. Rightfully so.

The law of assumption is a guided energetic force leading you towards your created self identity. The challenge with the law of assumption is, your ego self actualizes through pattern recognition. A pattern can entrap you into a darker ego driven level of universal truth, which can be torturous and painful. On the other side of the scale of polarity, a pattern can entrap you into a spiritual consciousness which results in a desperate longing to leave earth. This too is a form of self torture. In this instance a person can reject their ego to the point of their complete detachment from physical earthly pleasures. Which in all truth, is also ego driven without realizing it. Using the law of assumption within an ignorant awareness can result in self alienation practices to either extreme, creating a personal living hell.

Extreme isolation can be a living hell, when you know at a subconscious and intuitive level that you were created amongst a universal collective consciousness. You were designed to co-create with other energy beings. To be able to alchemize your own energy, you require other energy to work with. With that said, these mindful journeys which are highlighted in this writing, are extreme and are available through the law of assumption. Both heaven and hell in the spiritual realm and in the earthly realm are created through thoughts internalized and then assumed to be true now and or in the future. An assumption based upon a false narrative can become true enough when it is assumed long enough by free will choice.

An experience creates a future assumption and a current truth. A future self generated assumption created in the present, results in living the assumption in the present. Without realizing it, your assumptions as to what may or may not occur and who may be thinking or doing what, influences your masculine intellect and your feminine emotional awareness. This results in you energetically living within your future assumption without realizing it. Your energy fluctuates based upon your conscious, subconscious, and your natural tendency to assume. Words expressed to you which you choose to internalize when in an energy of rumination, then express outwardly in the form of self muttered talk or through the interaction with another being, places you into a lower frequency. This lower frequency then aligns you with a future creation founded upon by your present day assumptions. Assumptions are the ingredients you use to alchemize your energy in order to align yourself with a perceived future event. What you assume, you ultimately create and live out in some way. Be it on the material plain or the ethereal plain. You experience what you assume to be true for you. You assume your past. You assume your present. You assume your future. You assume your heaven and your hell. You assume your pain and your pleasure. All assumptions are happening now. Therefore all assumptions are experienced in the present energy. Present energy affects any perceived future events which had been reinforced by way of past assumptions, and inside the illusion of linear time.

With that Clair, you assume you will create a heaven for yourself once you exit the earthly realm. This may be true. This is an assumption. With that said, assumption is best to observe from a micro level to a macro level. You know when I am referring to a macro level, I am referring to your existence after your earthly journey. You know you take your mind with you. When you act impulsively after containing a great deal of emotional and mental anguish, what do you often experience within yourself afterwards?”

Regret, usually.

“Yes dear, you do. Is this an elevated frequency or a lower frequency?”

This is low vibes for certain.

“If you know you experience a sense of regret right after an impulsive act founded upon desperation, what makes you think this experience would not occur after you assert your free will by taking your own physical life away?”

I don’t know. I am assuming I would be guided and helped through my transition?

“Yes, this is true. You most certainly would be. With that in mind, in what way are you guided to see the truth after you have left your vessel?”

I would be shown cause and effect from all angles of perception and from all the lives I have impacted in some way. I would also likely see what I would have missed out on had I chosen not to stay. I would see the impact of my decision and therefore I can see the potential future my children would have to work with. I can see the potential in my influence in their added pressure to create a heaven on earth for themselves. This would burden me. This would be burdensome for my children. This is not acceptable for me. My choice could result in my children’s creation of their own personal living hell. I am not willing to hurt them.

“Clair by hurting them you would be hurting yourself. You know this. With that, would you truly be at peace?, or, would you desire a do over to balance out your energy once again? Would you likely reincarnate back on earth?”

Ugh, yep. I would probably reincarnate to sort myself out. I prefer to nope out of that plan.

“You expressed your desire to elevate your awareness to an ascended master. Taking advantage of an exit point early would not elevate you to this level of awareness. By choosing to give up, you also choose to cross your own personal boundaries and therefore fragment your own sense of unconditional self love. Yes, you may experience heaven and you most certainly would be loved and supported. With that said, many people turn their heads to love and support from family, friends, and perfect strangers in the physical realm. Their pain masks the love being extended to them. This is an individual consciousness creating self blame and torment within a collective consciousness. Hell is the assertion of free will. Remember, your body recycles back into the earth. Your mind creates your journey afterwards”.

So what do I do?

“What is God helping you to understand at this time? You know the answer”.

I am learning to work less. I am learning less is more. I am learning to ease into a known truth, which is, what I offer is valuable. Value is not forced. It is cultivated. Cultivation takes time. I am learning to live and let God whilst remaining true to my confidence that I have done enough. I have also recently learned that solicited advice is far more conducive to time management. Rather than create arrogance by inserting my two cents when it comes to hidden patterns, I decided that I am satisfied by the fact that I know it for myself. If anyone else is interested, they will seek me out. I have learned to balance my efforts which then helps me to clearly discern when enough is enough for me. Letting go of the reigns is saying enough is enough.

I still dislike my quiet life at the moment. My ego is fighting with me to be heard. I want teeth! I want a palm tree! I want love! I want, I want, and I want. My little girl is getting antsy. This okay. I love me anyway. I know this and can respect it.

My ego is so ready for love and adventure. I can work through this self torment. With that said, this extreme isolation and overlooked effort that I tend to ruminate on, can certainly cause my own scales of life to teeter totter back and forth. My ethereal chair does wobble from time to time. I may be tired. With that said, I must parent my ego into submissive patience.

A relationship with yourself is as important, if not more important than relationships you have with other people. I choose self love. I will see my heaven when it is naturally time for me to do so.

Remember, everything you know was founded upon the law of assumption. You then translate the information in a way that makes the most sense to you. Then you live it. In addition, your ego is attached to linear time. Your soul is connected to the ethereal realm where time does not exist. This can create torment and desperation when they are not balanced within a unified state. When you have an impulse, do your best to step out of the thought pattern to see if there is another way to look at it. Ask yourself questions. Be willing to accept unconditional loving truth. Be brutally honest with yourself. No one else needs to know. Be your own best friend. Choose to trust when all seems lost. Choose yourself. Remember to identify the law of assumption before committing yourself to any permanent change. Have confidence that what you do not know today, you come to learn tomorrow. When your assumptions are painful, choose to identify the opposite. Reinforce the polar opposite assumption until you can identify the middle ground of both. The middle ground is a safer assumption to create with. You are better equipped to observe both the light and dark, positive and negative, aspects of a greater truth. From there, whatever free will decision you choose, you choose with a heightened level of awareness and discernment.

Breathe. Keep going. Assume you are making a difference one way or another. Know when your enough is enough. Live and let God. Know when to live and let God. Knowing is when you are satisfied with your efforts, not your reward.