I have reflected on a sincere perceived truth that I hold, and that is, I haven’t experienced a genuine and deeply loving intended apology from anyone, ever. This statement, to the very best of my knowledge, excludes my grown children. Not that my trauma mind can remember if anyone else truly has, and not that I require one, which I also find intriguing.
As I had mentioned in previous posts, my cut off game is fierce. Once I have decided I have had enough, I don’t look back at a tormented mind. I move forward with what they had taught me, which then allows me the ability to recalibrate my energy, and therefore, myself. It makes no difference who a person is, nor who they were in my life. Titles aside in my book. Labels aside in my book. A person’s character is all the information I need to know. Their energy impacts my energy, which impacts my ability to sustain an abundant and peaceful life. No hard feelings. That is simply what I have come to learn over my journey.
With that in mind, I zero in on a person’s deeper qualities which defines their light essence and mind. I observe people. The healthier their vibe, the closer I come and the longer I stay. If a person’s or environment’s vibe is off or ill intended in any way, shape, or form, subconsciously, or consciously, I do my very best to remain respectful leave. I leave the moment I sense a dangerous vibe which is likely coming from another person, place, or thing. I remove myself from an interaction immediately and quite often, permanently. No apology is required. No communication is required. I simply go radio silent. I do this naturally. It is not forced. I simply accept whilst mourn. I find that truly fascinating. No one taught me this other than my guiding divine source and my overall life experiences.
I also do my absolute best to see past surface level. My life has trained me to naturally conform to navigating my life this way. I have never once felt truly safe so I have been on high alert most of my life. I am quick to assess myself in any situation and I have come to learn to act on my assessment immediately, not after I have been hurt. I have learned to quietly exit. Regardless of any form of temptation standing in my way. My Taurean ass be bullin let me tell ya. I may be a Libra at heart. With that said, my stubborn teeters with my resilience. They are my dark and light aspects of the same qualities. Whichever one you trigger is the side of me who plays with you. I am aligning myself to Clairity’s frequency more and more everyday. My awareness has been expanding exponentially. What’s fabulous about that is, I still know little. Woohoo! No pressure. Just learning for me and anyone I meet.
If myself and another person are morally and integrally misaligned, I choose to make a silent exit. Usually with love, and oftentimes with emotional pain within me. I process the pain. I proactively choose not to focus my attention on any perceived injustice and whether or not I am going to receive a sincere apology. I don’t expect one. I am perfectly okay with not receiving one.
Western society, as far as I can tell, were trained to say sorry. They were not trained on how to process grief and remorse. This is an artful skill to which generations ignore. Expect an apology and you would receive an act of niceness displayed inside a candy wrapper labeled “I’m sorry”. There is no sustenance, only an empty promise. Only a sweet sugar rush is experienced for a brief moment. Enough to tickle your willpower. Not enough to truly help heal your nervous system. For me, this form of apology is not authentic kindness. This is a desperate plea for whatever reason a person may have. It has nothing to do with me, personally. Therefore, I walk away in silence.
To me, this form of apology is a trained obligation rather than developed sincerity. With that in mind, an apology without sincerity is something of little value to me.
Sincere apologies have been a rarity for me, if not completely absent in my little bubble of a world. The vibe doesn’t lie to me. I read the vibe. I can read vibes with everyone and everything. It comes naturally to me. Sometimes it may take me a little more detective work to figure a person out when it comes to their energetic intent and what their intent does for me and my loved ones. Reason being, I too must manage an ego. Ego or not, I always come to know the truth. It may take time. With that said, the truth is always illuminated one way or another. God is highly and expansively creative after all. With that, I decided to have a little conversation with Clairity about apologies and the power of forgiveness. This was what Clairity had explained to me.
Clairity reminded me of my daughter, Liv’s wisdom.
“As Liv has said to both her children on several occasions, a sincere apology is changed behavior. There is substantial truth to this. Changed behavior indicates a severed habitual pattern. This break results in an altered sense of self. A slightly altered perception of self, moves a person into a slightly different, and quite often, elevated awareness. When a person’s character aligns with their apology, forgiveness flows effortlessly”.
What’s the reason people plead with others to forgive them? What’s the reason people have a difficult time with sincere apologies?
“Humans, over time, have been conditioned to believe in a mighty and judging Creator. A source of light who would bring wrath to them if they did not comply. This form of bias programming is often found within faith based constructs. This fear is also implied and embedded inside government bodies through measurable control tactics. Plant a seed and it shall spread effortlessly. Weeds can take over when you pay them no mind.
God can be a fierce judge if that is what one so chooses. Life is a variant game of “make believe”. A judgmental and authoritarian God can be experienced. Creation aims to please. You simply choose what you would like to join so that you can express yourself freely. When you are uncertain as to who you are, you would naturally and effortlessly join collective mindsets to redefine your identity, so that you can sustain a coexistence, and therefore, a form of source creation which represents your identifiable truth.
Congregational identities are often a programmed collective without awareness of their layered programming. There is innocence inside all minds. Even the most nefarious of minds. Gospel and militant minds hold some innocence. Participants in global affairs or church congregations who are equally programmed without full knowledge, manipulate and effect other people’s energy unknowingly. If it is true for them, then it is true, for them. Regardless of cause and effect. It is up to you to decide if you agree, disagree, or choose to remain neutral. All are loved either way. You are loved either way.
Remember, more than one truth can exist at the exact same time; so can two lies. It is up to you to decide. Your truth dictates your reality. If it is your reality, then it is true for you. Everyone designs their life the same way. You can respect different beliefs from your own without having to adopt them.
One truth I can express to you is this, religious organizations, knowingly, and unknowingly, foster a subconscious framed co-dependent addiction so that people come to believe they are ruled by an outside source, with whom they must honor, and sacrifice themselves for. Co-dependency is developed from a strategic framework to hook and maintain crowds of people to donate their time, money, and energy, towards someone else’s material gain and overall power over the masses. Religion and politics work within this framework.
Once a person comes to fear persecution long enough, they become dependent on a God. People who have come to believe this way no longer think for themselves freely. Instead, they live to please a God, or bring resentful wrath upon a God, rather than live to please themselves. This is acceptable. This is their truth. This does not mean it has to be yours.
When a person believes they would be cast out from heaven for any form of nefarious dealings, they would find it excruciatingly difficult to apologize because they would have to admit to their intended actions. Their initial response upon being caught would be fear based. They may not be afraid of you. They would be subconsciously afraid of final judgment. This fear then blocks them from seeing the truth. Instead, they experience a small child or teenager energy inside, who insists they are being misjudged, even though deep down inside, the true reason is, they believe they may have wronged a God. A sudden realization that they may be rejected by a God turns a head and ear away from that anticipated pain. With that, a person rejects the idea of an apology. Apologizing becomes too painful.
When people are desperate for forgiveness, they are not as focused on who they have hurt nor what they have done necessarily. They are focused on the possibility of receiving heavy karma whilst on earth, or once they return home to spirit. A person’s reach for forgiveness in this instance is not sincere towards their intended target. Forgiveness is for their believed sense of freedom. They desire freedom from personal condemnation. They desire freedom from their internal torment. This fear is understandable when an ego has been conditioned through religions and politics that can only paint a picture for someone to believe and then memorize. True or false. A false becomes true once you have experienced it enough.
Not all humans believe in a god. Not all children believe in a Santa Clause either. Most behave just in case. A God to them is an illusion designed to place metaphorical shackles on them. The shackles from Santa are expenses. There is truth to this as well. With that said, pride over pain is still far easier to manage. Pain of persecution in any sense of the word is a real illusionary experience that no one desires. Regardless of religious and or science based beliefs. People fear what they do not know. What they do not know is vast and immeasurable.
Clair, where do you stand on forgiveness?”.
I forgive everyone, really. If everyone received genuine and authentic true love from day one, they wouldn’t have hurt me in the first place. Hurt people hurt people. I was no exception at one time. I too said sorry out of obligation. Not out of sincerity. I refused to admit that my words came across too harshly. Today, I approach communication very differently. Life taught me this. Life shall teach them this too. I also forgive myself because like I said, I did not know any different. I choose to learn in hindsight. I have changed my behavior. This is my apology. This is my forgiveness.
“Excellent Clair. You see, you have come to accept your life journey and all the exploration you chose to experience. Growth is beautiful even when it is layered within ugliness. You chose to honor yourself and your teachings. You see people as your teachers to deliver your learnings. This approach is invaluable. This approach frees you from the binds of sacrifice and persecution. You no longer fear being born evil. You no longer fear going to hell. You no longer fear being an outcast. You embrace who you are and therefore embrace others for who they are choosing to be. This is forgiveness for you. Forgiveness is not sought after. Forgiveness is made by natural design. Your life designs it”.
I pray this entry has helped you a little? An apology is changed behavior. Forgiveness is recognizing that you have changed. Unconditional Love is invaluable for you. Embrace unconditional love for yourself so that you can experience true forgiveness. You do not have to give any hail Mary’s to do it either. Nor do you have to speak upon it. You simply decide. No more punishment. Acceptance is freedom from internal suffering.
LivWithClairity 