LivWithClairity: The Art of Not Caring

“The art of not caring is far easier said than done. It is a masterful skill and oftentimes takes a person a lifetime to learn. A person can say they do not care. Their energy says otherwise. If the energy is anything other than neutral and accepting, then care is involved in the interaction.

The reason people care so much is because human beings are raised to care for others. Care about the way you treat people. Care about the way people perceive you. Care about what people might think. Care about your reputation because it affects your family and potential career. Care about your health. Care about your appearance. Care about your future. Care about how you are making a difference. Care about your schooling. Care about your career ambition. Care about what you stand for. Care about yourself and others equally. This is what is ingrained into human society. The art of not caring is a skill which is developed by revisiting what you have been taught to believe and then decide for yourself what to care about.” ~Clairity

My daughter came into my room today in shock, beside herself, and ready to start sobbing at the drop of a hat. It took very little for me to see she was in distress.

I looked up at her as she walked in. She was holding something in her hand.

“Mum, my tooth broke whilst I was brushing my teeth.”

As soon as I heard her say that I got up out of bed, pulled her up close to me, hugged her, then said “I know honey. I know. I have no other words other than to say, I know”.

I held Liv in my arms until she was ready to release. When we finally did, Liv asked a desperate and tearful question.

“Mum, why does it have to be my front tooth?”.

“Because you are learning the art of not caring. Liv, when I broke my front tooth I was embarrassed. I used filters on my TikTok and hid my face behind a mask. That was until I remembered a point of reference. Do you remember when you were in grade school? You and your sister kept getting lice. One day we had a talk. I asked you and your sister to shave your heads because I was fed up with the constant cleaning that comes with attracting lice. I told you that if you were brave enough to shave your head then I was brave enough to shave my own. With that, we all shaved our heads then went to McDonald’s to show off our new look. When we got back home you asked to call a friend. I said sure so you did. When you were speaking with your friend I overheard you say “my mum shaved my head. But that’s not the best part. She shaved hers too!” (my hair was just before the small of my back. It was considered long).

I cherish that memory of shaving our heads. It helped to remind me that if I could shave my head down to a number two buzz cut and go out in public thinking nothing of it, then I can bloody well walk and talk with a broken tooth. To heck with what people think.

Liv, baby, you are learning the art of not caring. You are also being shown superficiality over authenticity. People who judge are people who are unimportant in your world. Those who love you see your beauty inside out. Not outside in. Those people wouldn’t care about your teeth other than to say “are you okay?” They also know you were born with soft teeth. It runs in the family on both sides. If they know and don’t care that your beautiful smile is what it is, then consider not caring too”.

Liv started to relax her breathing and accept the situation for what it is.

“Liv, I am not concerned about your appearance so much as I am concerned about the health of your mouth, as well as my own. We have to trust the universe that resources arrive. We must trust. When I do have the resources your teeth and your sister’s teeth are fixed before mine. You’re a mum, you know the reason for this.”

“People can get seriously ill from unattended tooth infections. The infection can get into the bloodstream and affect your heart. People have died from situations like ours.” Liv explained in an anxious worry.

“I know sweetheart. My face, jaw, nose, and forehead are now being affected. It does spread. We must have faith. It’s inevitable”.

“Mum a woman went to the dentist to have her teeth fixed. They were only able to do a partial fix because she had an infection. They placed her on antibiotics and sent her home to come back once the infection subsided. The woman did as instructed only to die in her sleep because of her heart. She was only twenty-eight years old”.

“I know honey. This can happen. Rather than focus on what devastation can take place, let’s trust. Trust my work pays off. Trust God has our back. Trust. Okay baby? In the meantime remember, you are building your skill in selective caring”.

With that Liv and I went out and about running errands. Liv and I went to a Tim Hortons coffee shop. Liv ordered for us, sat in the seating area, walked out, rescued a hurt cricket from her windshield, then went to her partner’s place of work to bring him a couple of drinks, went and picked up her eldest daughter from school, then came home. She did all that with a missing front tooth. Kudos to her!

The art of not caring can be liberating. I say it can be because people can lie to themselves enough to go to the extreme; which is to be brutally honest with people to the point of hurting them. There is a fine line when developing this skill. It is not about not caring per say. It is more about being selective with what you truly care about. If you care about what everyone thinks your care jar will be empty when it comes to what’s truly and perhaps secretly important to you.

Not to mention, speaking as a single woman, I know the man God presents me with is highly discerning and incredibly intelligent. He sees the beauty from the inside out rather than from the outside in. My teeth are only a serious factor to a person God is showing me who is not for me. You see, the art of not caring helps highlight those worth caring about and those worth being entertained by.

You also avoid self sabotaging behavior . If Liv overly cared what people think she would have placed a mask on her face before interacting with the public like I initially did when my second tooth broke, or, she wouldn’t have gone out altogether. She is developing her skill. She is also being shown the true value in others placed before her.

Life is life ing. Shyte happens in a blink of an eye. Yes it may be shocking. You may be born with a unique appearance. You may suddenly find yourself with a unique appearance. Learning the masterful art of not caring is best learned by giving you conditions in which to decide how much to truly care. Selective caring then feeds your library that houses your book of wisdom. Your level of discernment heightens. Your social circle, therefore projected energies lessen. The positive domino effect builds your confident character when it comes to selecting your people, including your career environment.

If your ego cares what people think flip the narrative. The universe is showing you who you are and who others are around you. Do you choose to live for you?, or, do you choose to live for others comfort?

Ah decisions decisions. Life is brilliant. Wouldn’t you agree?