I watched a video on TikTok the other day. A person was at their wits end. They described being excruciatingly exhausted by the continuous grind and responsibilities to make ends meet, in a job they hate, and at a wage which hardly covers living expenses. I am certain there is far more pressure they were experiencing which they did not speak on. What they did speak alluded to the fact that they were ready to pack it all in. They were in the midst of a tug of war between their conditioned ego saying life sucks and their spiritual truth within them which works to establish an entirely new point of reference. Then they asked for advice over the world wide web. Their question on TikTok went a little something like this, “how does one break out of a repeat cycle which brings them back to mental stress, emotional pain, and physical exhaustion?”
That is an excellent question. My heart went out to the tormented person, so I asked Clairity on my walk tonight. I posed the question to Clairity the same way I had worded it above.
“The same way you did dear”, was Clairity’s response.
The way I did it was choosing homelessness over living with a man inside of a toxic and codependent relationship. Then I asked myself brutally honest questions to get to the root of the matter.
Clairity once again reiterated healthy choices which also included painfully difficult ones to make. Although my way is not the only way, it is highly effective.
“Yes. Your plan is effective. It may not be easy for people to adopt. Nonetheless, a leap of faith is required. As well as a readiness to accept completely honest and loving truths”.
Only ask a question you truly desire to know the answer to. Seek and you shall receive. When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear. A ready student is an inquisitive person. Who also chooses to learn about themselves and their world at large, through conscious observation and then active integration.
“I wouldn’t want anyone to choose homelessness. That’s a harsh choice”.
“Everyone’s circumstances are slightly different, because everyone’s perception is slightly different. Diversity dear. God requires diversity for expansion. The universe would implode if everything and everyone moved into a singularity. What is life without expansion?
With that in mind, a person’s beliefs are based upon their unique perception and are slightly different from your own. A person may not have to choose the painstaking task of a destitute nor a homeless existence. They would have a difficult decision to make nonetheless. Choosing to walk away from what is familiar is scary for anyone. They may have to choose unconditional love by walking away. This is easier said than done. People like to know things. A person may be required to reassess their vocational choice in life. A person’s reason is personal to them. The choice they must make is personal to them. The request from the universe is unanimous, which is to have faith until you know”.
It is easy to get caught up in what is expected of you. You were raised on expectations. You are expected to go to school or acquire some form of education. You are expected to follow the rules and respect others, especially your elders. You are expected to be responsible and get a publicly approved vocation. Then you are expected to work for a wage to pay bills and maintain the ideal family life. You are expected to accomplish this in a timely manner. Overtime the habit of choosing to live a life to satisfy another person’s expectations takes over. A person forgets to live because they enjoy what they are creating for themselves.
Once a person fears what another person may think about their presentation or craft, judgment, criticisms, and fear of faith dominate their world. Judgment dominates because their ego was conditioned to be judged. To be something you require an outside source to help you do it, always.
Thoughts of “what if I don’t meet their expectations? What if I don’t measure up? What if I can’t do it? What if I screw up?” become all too common. This stops people from living. They exist instead of truly live. I bet if you think about it, you will notice a point in time where you also questioned and or, were heavily influenced by someone else’s perceived opinion of you. I was too! Many times in fact. I cared what Rosie thought. I cared what my parents thought. I cared what my children thought. I cared about what all the bullies thought. Until I decided to care what I thought. We all do it to a degree. We all care. I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me. I would care about what my Christy would think. I would deeply care in fact. Selective caring builds your priority list. My people are a part of my priority list. Your people are yours too?, I suspect.
Taking a blind leap into the unknown can be scary. The thought of energy and effort to take a leap of faith is arduous, or at the very least, difficult to muster when you are fearful and depressed at the same time. When a person has been defeated long enough, feelings of hopelessness and anger begin to take form. Once a person’s energy is depleted to the point of severe depression, the vision for a positive change in their life dims. When your light dims, you naturally reach for another light. Similar to the wet lighter experiment. The wet light can be lit once again by another lit lighter. The wet lighter gets their spark back with pure intentions and help from another source. The person who was in the TikTok video was at this stage. They were asking for a little lighter to help them with their wet spark.
Temptation to stay in a doubt driven cycle does not measure up to the psychological pain they are experiencing in a given moment. Internally, they are experiencing a sensation of severe pressure which is an internal alert for them so that they can release themselves from their own self made shackles. Fear of the unknown becomes a “what choice do I have?”, plunge into obscurity.
People generally want the answers before taking action. Even when the facts are false. A person chooses false facts out of desperation, not out of clear mindedness. They choose to ignore their intuition for a sweet and often temporary reward. Believe it or not, every trigger you encounter is an opportunity disguised for you to address your own personal pain. Duality is amongst all. Including each and every choice you make within each and every experience you have. See one side of a coin. Then choose to see its polar opposite. Then choose to be the observer of both to establish the middle ground for yourself.
Fear often wins. Fear is a nasty beast to overcome, so people repeat unhealthy cycles of mental torment without realizing that they are being guided along by a false belief which grows more fear based thinking. A fearful mind spreads to everyone and everywhere, when you are unaware of it taking over you. When fear wins because your energy sought out stimulus which would reinforce your fear, you naturally revert to your willpower to push you through another day. You subconsciously choose a temporary solution over a long-term faith based outcome. Long term faith in yourself is required if you are actively changing your overall lifestyle.
Willpower burns out over time. Willpower is like petrol for a car. You have to keep filling it back up or you’ll run on empty and eventually crash out altogether. The petrol can be made out of lies. The quality may not be great. They can still fuel willpower. A truly false narrative to create action is low quality grade fuel no doubt. Burnout often ensues.
Faith is like solar energy. As long as you remain outside rather than hidden, you can go as long and as far as you wish. The challenge with faith is, you have no guarantee within your final destination. Willpower has the gas station. Faith has no set in a stone place. Faith is a choice to move blindly. This can certainly be scary because trust is involved. Trust in the unseen. Trust in yourself. Trust in your decision. Trust is a scary word for a conditioned ego. Trust is a scary word because it means being vulnerable.
I asked Clairity if I may receive some help on this entry. With that, Clairity’s energy is strong at this time. The next part is influenced by Clairity. I am mostly producing automatic writing through a flow state.
“Expectations can create subconscious cycles over time. When you were young, you were taught what to expect through the eyes of your guardians. They taught you what they learned from their guardians. The first challenge with this is, within each generation, advancements are made, collapses occur, and the introduction of obsolete job functions, as well as newly developed job functions, are created. In addition, inflation occurs at different rates within different generations. Yet the teachings passed down from one generation to the next are oftentimes carbon copied and repeated. This creates a gap in empathetic understanding between generations.
In the beginning, a child lives for themselves without a care in the world. It isn’t until another person’s expectations are introduced to them, does a child begin to question their reality, and who they are inside of said reality. If harsh criticisms or harsh judgments are given to them on repeat, the child begins to question a rule or an order. When they assert their observations only to receive backlash, the child begins to learn to stop thinking for themselves or they risk punishment of some kind. The less the child feels safe to express their opinions or their desires, the more they live for another person’s expectations, rather than for themselves. When they live just to follow the rules another person puts into place, they grow into an adult who wonders why they feel so unfulfilled in life, whilst also struggling in some way as to how they got there in the first place. Since they were always told how to think and what to do or not do, they repeat the teachings. The child’s identity was developed by another person’s internal reflection of them, not truly based upon loving guidance and support. We are creatures of habit. Psychological habits are developed in childhood. Creative expressions take that habit into adulthood.
This blog entry would take days to complete if we were to discuss how a person traps themselves to the point of confused exhaustion. There are infinite reasons and no two individuals are the exact same. With that said, there are healthy ways to overcome any perceived challenges.
The first step is to quiet your busy mind. Faith moves in silence. Faith speaks the loudest inside a quieted mind. This is a daunting task in the beginning. How does one quiet a mind which is overwhelmed and exhausted? You self isolate and choose to be outside as often as you possibly can, and preferably with a cell phone placed on silent mode.
The next step is to visit some questions. What is upsetting you the most? Is it your career, money, relationship, family, or something else? Answer your question. What’s the reason this upsets you? What’s the reason you are doing it? Are you happy doing this?
Explore all the known reasons for being in the situation you are in as it relates to what is upsetting you most. Who said what? Who are they to you? Do you resonate, (sense a knowing inside of you), with their message to you? What is the reason for caring so much? Who do you choose to live for?
Many people do not take the time to stop to ask themselves why they are doing something. Most people do what is likely expected of them within an area of interest and without question. This is rooted in a simple truth; being raised with certain cultural and personal expectations. People naturally fall into societal norms. A lazy mind prefers compliance.
Once you have identified your answers to your questions, repeat the same process with the other legs of your ethereal chair. That being your intimate relationships, personal self development, career ambition, your overall health and well-being, and your divine connection to all that is. If you are unfamiliar with my explanation of the ethereal chair you are attached to, then please do consider reading all of the posts within this series.
Are you happy in your home life? What’s the reason? Are you happy in your social life? What’s the reason? Are you happy with your health? What’s the reason?
Once you have dissected each area of your life, determine which area is a top priority for you. When you determine what it is, maintain your inner focus on that area only for the time being. Doing so reduces overwhelming stress. It is wise to address one area of your life at a time. Be like a turtle, not like a rabbit. There is no rush. Once you are satisfied with the progress you have made, move onto a different area of your life, should you deem it necessary to make changes there too.
Who and what do you believe, and why do you believe in it?
No one is better not worse than you. They, like you, see things differently. This is beautiful. What do you choose to see? Who are you doing it for? Your answers show you the reasons you live the way you do. Are you truly satisfied? Would you change a thing? What would you change?
If you commit yourself to your answers, you commit to a permanent break in your own psychological habits. Are you committed to your conviction regardless of opposition? How much love do you have for yourself? How much love do you have for your world? Who are you?
Every decision you make to better yourself creates massive waves of change inside of you, therefore your external world shifts to accommodate. People are naturally pushed away with the tide of your energy. People rush into your life based upon the returning wave created from your push back. Go with the flow of life’s waves by remaining aware of the riptide. Use the current to your advantage. Sail into the unknown with childlike wonder and a thirst for knowledge. Be free whilst choosing to hurt no one.
As you continue to understand a predicament you may be in, begin to build a relationship with your divine team, if you haven’t already. Talk with the universe. Begin to build a language with your unseen team through patterned signs and synchronicities.
In addition to that, commit yourself to a gradual shift in direction. Permanent change requires gestational practice. If an inspirational idea comes to you, act upon it even when you do not have all the facts. If you are triggered in a moment, explore the reason for the trigger. You do that by asking yourself questions to discover the familiarity of the trigger.
What is familiar about it? Can you identify a pattern in your life as it relates to it? What do you choose to do with the information? Do you reinforce pain? Do you reinforce glory? Do you choose to establish the middle ground of two opposing perceptions so that you honor your healthy boundaries?
Ask yourself questions. Keep your mind open to receive the answer. Be willing to observe the answer. Explore further by asking questions to yourself and direct questions at others. Act upon constructive and healthy information given to you. Allow for divine timing to unfold in a harmonious way. You can avoid disappointment when the time does not match your expectations. Be willing to make difficult decisions, which may also include maintaining boundaries up against opposing factors. Opposition comes in many forms. Take a leap of faith in yourself. This may include a choice to walk away from what you know. Liberation requires blind faith.
It is less scary when you are willing to explore the hidden patterns of your psyche. To do that, you merely ask yourself questions. The universe will conspire in your favor to answer them for you. When the student, being you, is ready, your teacher shall appear to you. You are both. Listen and trust in your own wise council.
When I broke from painful emotional and mental abuse, I called the only resource I knew, my daughter, Liv. She was my saving grace at a time of need. If you have someone who can help you, without expressing bias, consider reaching out to them. There are solutions to everything. When God provides you with a boat, climb aboard. If you wait for the rescue you think should appear, you will inevitably drown.
Avoid overwhelming yourself by snowballing your thoughts. Make a priority list. Make your top priority your mental health then choose an area of your life to explore through shadow work. There is no rush unless you wish to place that pressure upon yourself. Trust in the universe. Trust in yourself . If you are in a shyte job, be open minded to all sorts of windows of opportunity. When one presents itself to you, take it, (after you assessed the moral compass attached to it). A leap of faith is required. You must trust yourself. You must trust that the universe will catch you. Your life is a trust fall.
I recognize that it takes a shit ton of courage, perseverance, patience, and personal inner strength, to believe in yourself enough to break free from past perceptions and pain filled messages. It can be done. One brilliant self posed question at a time.
LivWithClairity 