(Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect their privacy. Mature subject matter. Reader discretion is advised 18+)
As I have mentioned in previous blog entries, I have the uncanny ability to read energy. I suspect my ability to read energy came from a lifetime of hyper vigilance. I can zero in on a person’s emotions and intentions. I do this instantly and naturally. Whilst growing up, I constantly felt like I was walking on egg shells, or in potential danger if I stepped out of line, or I had to have my wits about me.
Emotions, facial expressions, and people’s body language are relatively easy for me to read. My ability to assess and then recognize a person’s true intentions, triggered by unseen emotional vibrations, took lived experience to figure out.
When I was growing up, my mum had her hands full when it came to my sensitivity to other people’s energy. I soaked in people’s energy like a dry sponge. If my friend was upset, within a short time, I became irritable or upset. If my friend was sad, I would become sad. If I were around crowds for too long, I became irritable due to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I would oftentimes leave my parents’ house in one mood and then come back in a totally different mood. My mum often accused me of taking on other people’s personalities.
“Their problem is not your problem. You need to stop hanging around with those kids. They are a bad influence over you”.
My mum would then inform people over the years that she didn’t know one day nor the next when it came to the mood I was going to be in or how I would behave.
“If her friend’s parents were getting a divorce, Clair believed me and her dad were getting a divorce. If her friend was pissed off, so was she. She would leave the house as one person then come back as someone entirely different”.
My mum wasn’t wrong. My mum was correct. I absorbed people’s energy and carried it for myself. I didn’t know that was what I was doing. I hadn’t developed enough awareness nor discernment to know the difference. Today I most certainly do recognize the difference in my energy versus someone else’s energy. Today I honor my energy whilst I also equally allow others to honor their own energy. I make a better lover and a friend that way.
Bill, my second husband, taught me to identify my energy over someone else’s.
When I walked into Bill’s kitchen one day, I was presented with a wave of sadness exuding off of him. A sudden and drastic realization stopped me dead in my tracks. The sudden shift in energy helped to make the difference plainly obvious. Bill’s energy was quite the contrast to that of my own.
Sadness and happiness are perfect contrasts to highlight a significant difference between people in a circulation of a group of energetic influences. Polarities are a beautiful thing. Bill helped me to recognize the importance of privacy and the importance of knowing what is truly mine. All in one sitting.
The day Bill called me out for energetically snooping on his privacy was also the day he had shone a light on my own autonomy and moral standing as it relates to my approach with other people. I decided to develop awareness exercises to help me remain aware of what energy is mine, versus the energy of someone else’s. I am forever grateful to Bill for this valuable lesson and for the incredible insight.
In the beginning of this new found awareness, I had to actively remind myself to check in with myself before starting each day. I would ask myself questions to determine what energy was mine so that I could distinguish subtle changes around me when out in public, or in proximity to other people. During my self made training, I kept my keen observations quiet for the most part. I was too busy with self training, by way of pattern recognition, to begin to talk about it openly with others. I also lacked self confidence in a big way back then.
I prefer to be a student than a teacher of something I am still figuring out for myself. Trust me when I say, writing this blog takes courage for me in the sense that I am sharing my mind, knowing many people would consider me a wack job. I am also still learning which means, there is always room for error. The art of selective caring is a beautiful thing indeed. I digress.
These are the questions I would ask myself before I engaged with other people.
“What emotions are you experiencing? Did you wake up in a good mood?, a foul mood?, a neutral mood?
What is your body telling you today? Do you have any aches or pains? Do you have any new bruises? Do you have a headache or other tension in your body?”.
Finally I would end my intense inquisition with “what is most prevalent in your mind?”
Once I determine the answers for myself, I am aware of who I am that day. From there, I would catch subtle changes in my energy whenever I was exposed to a new environment or any particular person.
When I am in the proximity of someone who is dangerous, I receive a shiver up and down my spine. When I am around someone who is manipulative, I receive a flutter inside my stomach. When I am exposed to someone who insists on living in a victim mindset, I become impatient and irritable after so long. When I am first introduced to an oppressed person, my body tends to let out a depressed sigh the moment my energy touches theirs. They are a lost soul. I can feel the void. When I am around a judgmental person I become annoyed. When I am in the presence of spirit beings, my energy becomes lighter or denser. The results I receive depend on the exchange and the spirit’s intent behind the exchange.
In all instances, I receive a worded internal thought message which concerns another person or location. I base my interaction on the worded message I instantly receive inside my mind. If I feel I am in the presence of a potential hostile, judgmental, or close minded individual, I make my exit fast. When I am feeling neutral, light, or aware of another person’s ego who would not intentionally hurt me, I relax and keep them at a respectable distance. I am kind, not nice.
It is rare for a person to get close enough to me without me knowing their full level of authenticity. Even Rosie didn’t know my mind intimately. He only developed and wanted access to my knowledge and body. I kept much of my “how to communicate” with spirit private between me and spirit. Only one person in this world will get close enough to me to experience all my ego stages and to know me completely. That person is my Mr. Christy.
Recognizing the value of my autonomy helps me to keep the importance of the energetic influence another person, place, or thing, might have over me if I exposed myself to them for too long. Knowing a person’s energy is often at the forefront of my mind when meeting someone new. With that in mind, anything which is outside of what I had identified as my own energy, is coming from somewhere, or someone else. Once I detect it, I ask myself an extremely powerful question. That question is “what’s the reason I…(feel? or think?, or am sensing this?)”.
Once I pose the question which depends on which sensation I experience in the moment, I listen to my internal sound waves and resonance to acquire the answer. Once I receive an answer, I decide if the risk in knowing the person I am being introduced to is great, minute, or somewhere in between. I then place a person into one of those categories. Titles aside, as they make no difference when it comes to the underlying truth of a person’s overall character.
I recognize today that I have much learning and living to do. I have many beautiful souls to meet. I am far more familiar with ill intended or deeply ego driven beings. I am less than familiar with other authentic kindness. Authentic kindness from people, (aside from my own children), and the way my body and mind internalize it is yet to be known by me. What I can say though is, I know who not to associate with.
Anyone outside of the patterns I had established would be a new and welcomed experience for me. Once I know what it’s like, I can write about it. Until then, all I can do is shed some light on how you can identify your energy so that you can sensitize yourself to other people’s energy. There are incredible benefits to having this awareness. After all, making long term investments would be far more lucrative when you can see beyond your physical eyes, ears, and touch. Your confidence also improves significantly. The challenge with developing this skill is, you must believe in yourself. Regardless of any “facts” which are presented to you. You must trust yourself. Regardless of information which may be purposefully obscured or left out by a person’s tendency to mislead people. Misinformed people tend to stick with a partial truth for comfort, not for healthy change, and can be dictated at a subconscious level. Innocence can mislead.
There is one caveat to doing this self awareness exercise. If you do not acknowledge and release the other person’s energetic impact on you after you recognize it, you do in fact carry a part of their mindset with you. Telepathy and waves of emotions are happening whether you realize it or not. It is far more advantageous for you when you are aware.
With that, I highly recommend you consider doing a check-in exercise for yourself. Ask yourself similar questions to the ones I asked myself in the beginning of my own energy sensitivity training.
“What is my emotion?, What are my physical sensations?, and what topic am I currently focused on, on the regular these days?”.
Get to the root of your mental, emotional, and physical sensations. Ask questions to acknowledge rooted energy in another person’s intentions, in the energy of a space, or the energy attached to an object. The more you practice this, the greater chance you have at investing your time wisely. The moment you switch your focus onto an internal sensation, within any circumstances, you can begin to read the energy you are engaging in. It really is that simple, which also makes it easy to overlook. It is a skill well worth mastering for yourself.
The reason it is wise to ask those questions is because another person’s stresses can affect your mind and body. As an example, a person who is highly worried or anxious, and who is in close proximity to you, may inadvertently create a stress headache or tightness in your body. If you were unaware of the energy which influences you within your proximity, you risk having a not so pleasurable physical discomfort for potentially the rest of the day. That’s not a price I am willing to pay. I can’t imagine you would like that either?
When you do detect changes in your energy field or thought process, ask questions in your mind to determine what they are and who may be emitting the change. Quite often my eyes naturally move to the person emitting the energy. I trust where my eyes are being guided. Once I see who it is, I check internally to see if the energy strengthens, or if I receive an affirmative word which matches the sensations I am experiencing, inside my mind.
Once you have identified the energy, think in your mind “thank you for the awareness. That energy is not mine. I let it go. I give it back with love and harm to none.”
Take a deep breath or two and repeat the affirming release until such time as you sense you are back within your own energy and frequency. The sensation I often experience is similar to air being released from a balloon. The pressure relaxes and the air becomes lifted. If you are unable to feel a substantial change in your energy after the identification, you may need to excuse yourself from the space. You may be dealing with an energetic screamer, rather than soft, subtle whispered energy. The reason I say this is because everyone’s aura vibrates and resonates at different speeds, as well as closer or farther away from their bodies. It is easy to detect a screamer’s energy because the impact is often instant. Whispering energy is sneakier and can take several hours, if not an entire day to realize.
At first the exercise may seem tedious. Perhaps it is a little. Remember, you are a creature of habit. After a while, you no longer need to remind yourself nor necessarily ask yourself those questions everyday. You would become fully aware of yourself naturally. Once this occurs, your discernment has heightened. You can then be far more selective with whom you choose to interact with and where you choose to interact.
I am going to end my writing for a wee bit now. I pray these blog entries have offered you valuable insight and a somewhat down-to-earth approach going forward? With that, it is time I take a bit of a hiatus.
There is a time to heal. There is a time to explore. There is a time to reflect. There is a time for adventures and learning. It is time for me to learn something new so that I can continue to love being me. When I feel the urge to write again, I shall. In the meantime, thank you so much for following my journey thus far. I do pray you received some golden nuggets from my writing and from Clairity and for your own life.
I know WTF I am doing. I am observing, listening, trusting, and living in faith that my world is as beautiful as I imagine it to be. To that end, I am signing off of the WTF blog series. Perhaps in time a new series will emerge?
Much love to you, always ❤️.
Clair Marie
Liv with Clairity
LivWithClairity 