(Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect their privacy. Some information may be disturbing for some readers. Reader discretion is advised 18+)
As I have mentioned in previous blog entries, I have the uncanny ability to read energy. I suspect my ability to read energy came from a lifetime of hyper vigilance when it came to people’s emotions and intentions. I constantly felt like I was walking on egg shells or in potential danger if I stepped out of line or didn’t use my wits about me. Emotions, facial expressions, and body language, are relatively easy for me to read. A person’s true intentions which triggered the emotional vibration took lived experience to figure out.
When I was growing up my mum had her hands full when it came to my sensitivity to other people’s energy. I soaked in people’s energy like a sponge. If my friend was upset, within a short time, I became irritable or upset. If my friend was sad, I would become sad. If I were around crowds for too long, I became irritable due to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Often I would leave my parents’ house in one mood and then come back in a totally different mood. My mum often accused me of taking on other people’s personalities.
“Their problem is not your problem. You need to stop hanging around with those kids. They are a bad influence on you”.
My mum would then inform people over the years that she didn’t know one day or the next when it came to the mood I was going to be in, or how I would behave.
“If her friend’s parents were getting a divorce, Clair believed me and her dad were getting a divorce. If her friend was pissed off so was she. She would leave the house as one person then come back as someone entirely different”.
My mum wasn’t wrong. My mum was correct. I absorbed people’s energy and carried it for myself. I didn’t know that was what I was doing. I hadn’t developed enough awareness nor discernment to know the difference. Today I most certainly do recognize the difference in my energy versus some else’s energy. Today I honor my energy whilst equally allowing others to honor their own. I make a better friend that way.
Bill, my second husband, taught me to identify my energy over someone else’s energy. When I walked into his kitchen to only be presented with a wave of sadness exuding off of him helped to make it plainly obvious what his energy was in contrast to my own. Sadness and happiness are perfect contrasts to highlight a significant difference. Polarities are a beautiful thing. Bill helped me to recognize the importance of privacy and the importance of knowing what is truly mine all in one sitting.
The day Bill called me out for energetically snooping on his privacy was also the day he had shone a light on my autonomy. With that, I developed a personal awareness exercise to help me remain aware of what is mine versus what energy I am experiencing from someone else. I am forever grateful to Bill for this incredible insight.
In the beginning, I had to actively remind myself to check in with myself before starting my day. I would ask myself some questions to determine what energy was mine so that I could distinguish subtle changes around me.
“What emotions are you experiencing? Did you wake up in a good mood?, a foul mood?, a neutral mood?
What is your body telling you today? Do you have any aches or pains? Do you have any new bruises? Do you have a headache or other tension in your body?”.
Finally I would end my inquisition with “what is most prevalent in your mind?”
Once I determine the answers, I am aware of who I am that day. From there, I would catch any subtle changes in my energy whenever I was exposed to a new environment or a person.
When I am exposed to someone who is dangerous, I receive a shiver up and down my spine. When I am around someone who is manipulative, I receive a flutter in my stomach. When I am exposed to someone who insists on living in a victim mindset, I become impatient and irritable after too long. When I am first introduced, my body tends to let out a depressed sigh when my energy touches the energy of a lost soul. When I am around a judgmental person I become annoyed. When I am in the presence of spirit beings, my energy becomes either lighter or denser depending on the exchange.
In all instances, I receive a worded thought message concerning the person. I base my interaction on the worded message. If I feel I am in the presence of a potential hostile, judgmental, or close minded individual, I make my exit fast. When I am feeling neutral, light, or aware of another person’s ego who would not intentionally hurt me, I relax and keep them at a respectable and equally welcoming distance.
It is rare for a person to get close enough to me without me knowing their level of authenticity. Only one person in this world will get close enough to me to know me completely. That person is my Mr. Christy.
Anything which is outside of what I identify as my own, is coming from somewhere or someone else. Once I detect it, I ask myself an extremely powerful question. That question is “what’s the reason I…”. Once I pose the question, I listen to my internal sound waves and resonance to acquire the answer. Once I receive an answer, I decide if the risk in knowing the person I am being introduced to is great, minute, or somewhere in between. I then place a person into one of those categories. Titles aside as they make no difference when it comes to the underlying truth of a person’s overall character.
I recognize today that I have much learning and living to do. I have many beautiful souls to meet. I am far more familiar with ill intended or deeply ego driven beings. I am less familiar with authentic kindness. Authentic kindness from others and the way my body and mind internalize it is yet to be known by me. What I can say though is, I know who not to associate with.
Anyone outside of the patterns I had established would be a new and welcomed experience for me. Once I know what it’s like, I can write about it. Until then, all I can do is shed some light on how you can identify your energy so that you can sensitize yourself to other people’s energy. There are incredible benefits to having this awareness. After all, making long term investments would be far more lucrative when you can see beyond your physical eyes, ears, and touch. Your confidence also improves significantly.
There is one caveat to doing this self awareness exercise. If you do not acknowledge and release the other person’s energetic impact on you after your recognize it, you do in fact carry a part of their mindset with you. Telepathy and emotional waves are happening whether you realize it or not. It is far more advantageous for you when you are aware.
With that, I highly recommend you consider doing a similar check-in exercise for yourself. When you do detect changes in your energy field or thought process, ask questions in your mind to determine what they are and who is emitting the change. Once identified, think in your mind “thank you for the awareness. That energy is not mine. I let it go. I give it back with love and harm to none.”
Take a deep breath or two and repeat the affirming release until such time as you sense you are back within your own energy and frequency.
At first the exercise may seem tedious. Perhaps it is a little. Remember, you are a creature of habit. After a while, you no longer need to remind yourself nor necessarily ask yourself those questions everyday. You would become fully aware of yourself naturally. Once this occurs, your level of discernment heightens. You can then be far more selective on who you interact with and where you interact.
I am going to end my writing for a wee bit now. It is time I take a bit of a hiatus. There is a time to heal. There is a time to explore. There is a time to reflect. There is a time for adventures and learning. It is time for me to learn something new so that I can continue to love being me. When I feel the urge to write again, I shall. In the meantime, thank you so much for following my journey this far. I do pray you received some golden nuggets from my writing and from Clairity for your own life.
I know WTF I am doing. I am observing, listening, trusting, and living in faith that my world is as beautiful as I imagine it to be. To that end, I am signing off of the WTF blog series. Perhaps in time a new series will emerge.
Much love to you, always.
LivWithClairity 