(Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect their privacy. Some information may be disturbing for some readers. Read at your discretion. 18+)
I have come to notice a pattern as I continue to blog. It seems Clairity has been guiding me through the creation of a memoir of sorts? It looks that way to me anyway. I have asked Clairity if I am blogging correctly? As well as, what is being created exactly? Clairity’s response each time has been, “trust the process. We love you. Keep going”.
I love and welcome Clairity’s response. With that said, it’s a loving way to address the questions I asked without actually giving a clear answer. Is that the flip side to calling someone an asshole without using the word? Instead of it being an egotistical response, it was an angelic or ancestral one? Was Clairity’s response spirit’s way of deflecting the question? Fascinating. Would you agree?
No one can force the process. I may as well place my stubborn butt down on a chair, and do as I am told. Trust the process.
With that in mind, Clairity is guiding me to explain where I am at within my perception, as it relates to all the incredible, beautiful, and empowering souls I have encountered on my journey thus far.
Everyone has a story. Everyone has been the baby, the child, the teenager, and the adult, at some point or another in their lifetimes. If they haven’t experienced being an adult as yet in this lifetime, all they would have to do is check in with their emotions, and with their moral compass, to see what they would be like as an adult. They will know their true character, regardless of age. We are similar to Russian dolls. Our aura houses all stages of our ego. With the adult version being the outer most doll and the fetus being the tinniest of dolls inside.
You carry each milestone age within you daily. The way you react to your personally curated reality is determined by the layer, like the Russian dolls, within you that is being triggered awake.
The difference from one stage to the other within your awareness is where you are vibrating from within an emotional, and intellectual perspective. Both your masculine intellect, and your feminine emotional intelligence, are designed to coexist within a balanced and harmonious state of being. When your masculine and feminine are off balance, you are out of alignment within yourself. When this occurs, your physical world becomes a symbol for you to remember that balance is required for peace and harmony to exist in your life. This then ultimately creates a uniquely designed physical manifestation of experiences to help you realize this. You learn how to trust your feminine intuition through navigating emotional vibrations. Whilst simultaneously observing and discerning your wise move with your masculine energy.
In addition, your manifestations are an individual, and simultaneously, a collective focused transference of energy. Energy is magnified and multiplied the more angles of perception presents themselves. The multitude of angular perceptions then manipulate energy into a specific physical 3D form within your awareness. We affect each other.
There are two fairly common expressions which highlight what I am explaining. The first one is “great minds think alike. Fools rarely differ”. All insist on proving one’s self correct without considering another individual’s opposing perception.
To know you are one hundred percent correct in all instances in existence, all angles of perception must be visible to you simultaneously and within all experiences at all times. This includes your perceived opposition’s perspective within any arena of your life.
The second commonly heard expression is “it takes a village to raise a child”, which means, there are internal influences within you and external influences around you. All help you build your web of perception. What point of reference would you have to anything if there wasn’t some other form of being to reflect information back to you? We require collective thinking and movement in order to exist and be distinguishable within the “I am” experience.
Everything exists because all it takes is one awareness to conceive it, and another awareness to perceive it. The natural flow of energy takes care of the rest.
When we rely too heavily on our intellectual masculine energy, our feminine emotional energy remains fragmented and trapped at the age of perceived emotional trauma. During emotionally charged experiences, the child, and the teenage energy within us, quite often, overpowers the mature adult body we are being housed in. Once this occurs, the younger energy we all carry sees that particular present moment with a younger lens. Once this naturally occurs, an individual’s physical senses are then manipulated into a relatable experience the child or teenager inside knows. This causes uncontrollable emotional reactions when you are unaware of what energy you are working in.
As an example, the nine year old little girl inside of me who was angry with herself for making a stupid decision with Necklace man would cower or cry when someone called her naive or impulsive. The teenager inside me would then take over and become defensive. Once my teenager became protective of my inner nine year old, my adult version would be insulted by the idea of my intelligence being insulted. This was my spiralled reaction before I made the connection.
I recognize today that I am in fact an insightful and rather intelligent being. With that, today I no longer feel insulted by a negative comment about my mental prowess. Today I read the person’s energy to recognize what they are telling me about them, rather than about me. I already know me. Due to this, my nine year old and teenager can remain at ease and safe within my wiser knowing.
A person doesn’t see you the way you see you. A person can only see their version of you based on the lens they are identifying you with. The same person can see you from different perspectives all in the same day as well. Their perspective relies heavily on which inner energetic stage they are responding to you with. You are unable to see another completely for themselves for the same reason. You can only see a version of them which you can identify with. Depending on the stage of awareness your energy is at when with the person, determines the way you perceive them.
Your powerful perception is what creates division and loneliness, or inclusion and acceptance in your reality. The greater you empower yourself with a better understanding of the reasons you perceive things the way you do, meaning you are intimately familiar with all the ego stages inside of you at any given moment, the greater your ability becomes to change an outcome. When you are at this level of awareness, an awareness I myself am continuously working towards, you can maintain balance, and peace, through universal acceptance.
Without going into too much detail of each person’s life throughout my memoir, and based solely on what I came to learn, I can say that Rosie, Rosie’s mum, my parents, my ex husbands, my children, old friends, and perfect strangers, saw me based on their perception of love and based upon what ego stage I triggered in them most often. I in turn saw them based on my perception of love and my internal ego stages and ages.
My mum was raising her siblings for her parents by the time she was ten years old. Her parents worked hard and enjoyed drinks during their time off work. My dad was on his own. He was providing for himself by the time he was fifteen. His grandmother raised him from the age of eight until he was around fifteen. My dad, like my mum’s parents, enjoyed drinking alcohol. Pints of beer from the local pub usually.
Rosie was raised by a single mum who immigrated to Canada from Haiti all on her own. She then had to adapt to extreme judgments and projections based on her ethnicity. In addition, she worked three jobs just to make ends meet for her and Rosie. Rosie was her world. With that in mind, I can imagine having an extremely independent woman for a mum may have created some sense of isolation for Rosie.
Rosie may have been left to his own devices on a regular basis similar to that of my dad? Combine a doating mother who placed her son’s efforts on a pedestal, alongside having an absent father, and you’d likely end up with a child who carried heavy adult expectations and responsibilities similar to that of Rosie.
Rosie mentioned he was with the guys at the barber shop more often than not. They may have been his surrogate dad? If this were the case, I can understand the conflicting messages he would be giving himself when it came to outwardly expressing love towards anyone. I can imagine that his inner teenager was left highly confused over what true love with a partner was to be like.
My first ex-husband was living with his grandmother when we met. He had an estranged relationship with his father. His father suffered from alcoholism. My second husband was the middle child of five children. He mentioned his dad was different when he was a child, versus when I met him. He also mentioned his dad drank alcohol a fair bit in his younger years as well. Bill became an adult who enjoys whiskey, a lot. He also had a brother whom he perceived as competition in some way.
All this is to say, we all have pain. We have all experienced hardships. We have all experienced incredibly amazing things too! Think about it; how else are you to have a life of adventure if there was no one to challenge you? If there was no one who was willing to play your adversary for you?
Parents, siblings, bosses, and strangers; place these titles aside. Your most painful experiences have the potential to birth greatness within you. Without opposition how would you learn to overcome? How would you learn self love? If the experience was not needed to learn self love for yourself, perhaps the experience is for your ability to understand another’s ability or inability to cultivate self love? You can only help another when you can identify with their problem.
If your soul desired an intimate understanding of love, how would you learn to love yourself without someone “hating” you? If your soul desires the feeling of acceptance, how would you learn to accept yourself if there wasn’t someone to reject you? If you desire to be recognized, how would you build confidence in yourself to know you are important in creation, regardless of status or title? How would you learn to recognize this about yourself? If you had no challenge, what would be the point of experiencing evolution and growth within your own self awareness?
Acceptance can only be established within perceptions who can relate with one another. If you are relatable within a depressed environment, it may be best to understand your perception if you desire knowing you can change your reality. If you are accepted within an uplifting environment, then it would be wise to remain aware of your perception in order to sustain your peaceful life. Either way, the more you understand yourself and are intimately familiar with all the stages of your ego, the more selective you can be with what you are creating.
You always have a choice. As an example, if you, like my mum, believed that you were only around to raise someone else’s children, would you be a patient parent?, or, would you continue to reinforce that your life equated to sacrifice through parenting? Resulting in creating resentful energy for yourself by using your child as a symbolic reminder?
There are reasons for everything which is often determined in hindsight. The choice you make is neither right, nor wrong. Your choice is perfect for you because you are doing exactly what you are meant to be doing within your individualized perception.
You are creating your individualized awareness within a universal collective consciousness so that the universe can experience itself through you. Everything in creation acts as a symbol for you. The symbol is a representation of what you have been exposed to. Your free will then chooses the way your ego develops based on those symbols. Your developed ego then dictates what you see. This creates the cyclical pattern.
As an example; a dad symbolizes physical safety and a mother symbolizes emotional safety. Both symbolize unconditional love. When both these roles become obscured with layers upon layers of oppressed messaging, trust in one’s own perception and decision making, as it relates to self love and acceptance, weakens. When a person’s self love weakens, their ability to love another unconditionally becomes compromised. The role another person plays for them would make little difference. Love for a child, a partner, or a parent, would be strained within their reality because we see based on our lens of perception. What we see is rarely based on what is one hundred percent fact.
Once a person’s sense of emotional and physical safety have been compromised, subconscious fears take root. Our inner child becomes scared to express pain. These subconscious fears are then transferred onto the next generation. This is because the fear based projection coming from the parents, are coming from their own wounded child within. If internal fears are not overcome, fear doesn’t disappear, nor hide. It spreads silently from one generation to the next. It is for this reason, your history repeats itself until you change the way your history repeats itself. The same rule applies to your parents and other loved ones.
Further to this, before your incarnation, you orchestrated your empowering experiences for this lifetime. Everything and everyone exists at the exact same time. My parents true selves in spirit, along with myself, and ancestors, agreed to experience a version of each other in this lifetime based on a vibrational frequency that best suited the learning experience for all.
My mum perhaps chose to learn to see herself as important, lovable, and worth wanting to know. My dad perhaps wanted to learn how to feel loved and give love without compromising his career ambition, or seem too soft in his masculinity? If that were the case, they were a perfect match to learn from one another.
I came here to learn true love. What better way to learn than by being raised by two parents who suffered from feeling rejected? The best way for me to learn self love was by being rejected enough times to see loving myself is the only way to truly experience it. Who better to help me realize that than my parents, and ex partners?
No one is a villain in my eyes. Every person I have met, and will meet, are teachers for me to help me learn more about myself. If I want to believe no one can be trusted, then the universe obliges me with untrustworthy people. If I desire feeling accepted, then the universe will send me experiences to be rejected from.
Knowing I am loved and accepted within myself allows for wise discernment to flourish. Maintaining this level of vibration with others is also granted by the universe. These are our choices. This is my choice.
To gain an achievement, you must have an obstacle to overcome. My obstacle was feeling loved and appreciated. Today I get to write about it. I can write about it because everyone’s true spirit selves agreed to play my teacher. I love everyone from a spiritual perspective. Everyone. It is my goal, as you continue on this journey with me, you see the grand design of your life, so that you can see your pain as a teacher that aids in your ability to empower yourself. In order to experience myself, I must experience you. In order for you to experience you, you must experience someone else like me.
My goal with spirit is to help you understand yourself from a subconscious and spiritual perspective. There are so many layers to your existence. We shall learn together. I need you to help me see what I have not seen. You need me to help you see what you have not seen. One page at a time.
LivWithClairity 
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