(Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect their privacy. Some information may be disturbing for some readers. Read at your discretion. 18+)
There I was sitting on a waiting area chair inside a hospital. Bill was seated next to me. Across from us was a large window which allowed Bill and I to see inside the surgical room. A medical team was working on Bill’s mother.
As we sat there in silence, I had the urge to look through the small double-door windows in the hallway. I then felt the urge to get up from where I was seated. I walked through the double doors. On the other side was a large hallway. Similar to any general hospital you would come across in life. The hallway itself seemed normal. What was standing at the end of the hallway was not.
Directly in front of me and at the opposite end of the hallway, stood a woman wearing blue medical scrubs. I knew who she was instantly.
“You are not who you present yourself to be!”, I exclaimed.
In that moment the nurse, or doctor, transformed into the lizard-like, dark entity I had faced previously on the beach. The entity started to come towards me then said in a deep, intimidating, and gruff voice, “I am not here for you. I am coming for him”. Motioning its head and glowing red eyes towards the double doors I had just come through.
I knew the creature was referring to Bill. Once again I became stern and committed to my position. I addressed the creature’s intentions by affirming my strength and authority. I said, “you have to get past me first.”
The blood started to pour down the walls. I could feel the warmth of the pooling blood at my feet. The dark entity then said, “I am coming for him”. That was when I once again got down on my hands and knees and proclaimed, “I am a child of God. You have no power over me. You cannot have power over me unless I give it to you. That is the law of free will. I have power over you, not the other way around”. I then opened my eyes in my dream to a sterile hospital hallway once again. The creature vanished. I turned around and looked through the little window of the double doors. I saw Bill with his head held downward. I then woke up.
Bill had challenges with remaining positive. Optimism was difficult for him to muster. He often referred to himself as a realist. This may be true. With that said, if I was having a rough day, his was usually worse or on par with mine. I felt like I carried optimism for the both of us. When I awoke from that dream I knew Bill was susceptible to oppressive outside influences. My first thoughts, to which I did not share with Bill, was “shit. Now Bill is going to mentally spiral downward”.
Thinking that way must have helped to physically manifest extreme challenges. The reason I say that is because it was less than a week later when Bill decided to cut off my business phone number without telling me. He also took a job in another province. Bill then decided it was too much effort to find an apartment for my dear furry dog friend, Sam. With that, Bill abandoned Sam in a provincial park just outside of Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada. Bill abandoned Sam the day before we moved to Nova Scotia August 01, 2009.
I still hold traumatic guilt about Sam to this day. The memory of Bill escorting Sam to his vehicle, alongside me knowing what Bill was about to do with him, haunts me. The only animal I have been able to bond with since Sam was Kody. Kody was helping me heal that wound.
I can recognize my life took a sudden turn for the worst after having that hospital dream. I suspected the dark energy circulating Bill and I was going to have a deep effect on us. I took that dream seriously. I also kept it to myself.
After recalling that dream, and identifying the chain of events which followed, I recognized I was experiencing fear of persecution. I was also hiding this fear behind Bill’s choices. Bill was the perfect candidate to help me reject the idea of me being a divine being. I held a false belief that I was potentially born evil. I wondered if I was a false prophet or charlatan. I wondered if maybe I was influenced by darkness. This doubt led to fear of being wrong. This doubt also led to fear of persecution after permanently exiting this world.
“What would become of me if I were messing with people’s minds and emotions? What would come of me if I were lying without realizing, and making money at it? I don’t want to mislead people”
Bill questioning and doubting life, as well as seeding doubt into what I was able to do with my intuition and career, was perfect alignment for the both of us. Through Bill’s belief system of being tormented by dark little shadow people, and his overall susceptibility to depressive energy, allowed me to give up on myself and my passion with Tranquil Spirit. I wasn’t exactly aware of this fact until Clairity continued with her line of questioning to help me get to the root of all this fear and uncertainty.
“Clair, whilst Tranquil Spirit was alive and well, you invited a guest spiritual teacher to your center. You decided to participate in her class. If you can recall, this lovely mentor guided you to a familiar past life. When she asked you what you thought of the experience, what was your response?”
My response to Donna was “I hated it. Sorry Donna, it was awful for me. I’d rather not experience something like that again”.
Donna’s reaction was shock and surprise. She then said, “oh I am sorry to hear this. It seems you may have some past life energy affecting you to this day”.
Donna was correct. I am grateful for Donna’s teaching. Her guidance in that moment was the catalyst to profound understanding later in my life. Thank you Donna Somerville for being you. You made a positive difference in my life.
“Yes, Donna was correct. What was it that you experienced whilst in this guided trance with Donna?”.
Now that’s a bloody good question. I had never experienced anything quite like it before then. It was as if I was in another dream. Similar to when I was a soldier facing my men being persecuted in the war. Only this time, I was caged inside a metal box.
In this trance-like experience I found myself seated upon a small wooden bench. I was inside a metal container. Similar to that of an old telephone booth. Except not quite as tall as a telephone booth would be. The only light available whilst inside this box was a slit the size of an envelope mailbox slit in the front door of a house. It was a horizontal opening incorporated in the symbol of a cross on the outside of the door.
I didn’t speak English at this time. I also found myself having to answer a question asked of me by a man who had his ear up to the slit in the cage door. After I answered his question, I felt the container I was in lift up off the ground. I was being carried somewhere. Inside my mind I kept on thinking, “what if I’m wrong? What if they are innocent? If I am wrong I will die”. After having those panicked thoughts I broke out of the meditative trance.
Clairity went further on to help me understand. “You recalled a past life when you were used as a psychic guide. Your ability to remote view the opposition’s positions was capitalized upon. You misread the energy which guided you to your persecution in that lifetime. You were killed for being perceived as incorrect. This end led to a cellular memory affecting you in this lifetime. Can you see how you attracted interactions with people who would agree that you are a charlatan being influenced by a devil? Can you also see how you welcomed continued exploitation of your talents?”.
Clairity’s questions gave me pause to think. There were several instances when someone referred to me as evil.
The most traumatic memory I have was when I was curious about my friend’s religion. I was nine years old when I was told I was going to go straight to hell. I was so scared by that idea I must have thought to look at my arse to see if I had a secret tail.
LivWithClairity 
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