(Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect their privacy. Some information may be disturbing for some readers. Read at your discretion. 18+)
After recognizing Rosie’s mum’s energy was similar to that of my mother’s, I kept my defenses up with her. I became increasingly cautious around her. I remained cordial and spoke french with her when I felt comfortable enough to do so. The only french I knew was from back in my high school days. Outside of that, it was UK English for me. I also knew I had unknowingly signed up for a competition for the title, “Lady of the House”. I had no plans on competing. It seems Rosie and his mum had other plans in mind. Let the mind games begin!
As I mentioned in the previous post, I was also set on fitting into the family by contributing to the home the best way I knew how. I lightened their load.
First I started to unbox and organize the large living, kitchen, bathroom area on the other side of the basement. There were boxes in there as far as the eye could see. It took me over a week of at least four hours a day, decluttering that room. I managed to find a spot for about ninety percent of their stuff. Whilst I was organizing, Rosie was out and about. He was either at his physiotherapy and massage sessions, or at a dental, or, mental health appointment. If he wasn’t doing that, he was working on his new found passion detailing cars, or dealing with legal and family services issues.
Life went back to normal. Only this time, I had to emotionally manage five people in a house. Two grown adults and two soon to be teens, plus me.
After I finished organizing the big room, I moved into painting the front entrance walls and staircase. I was set on proving to Rosie’s mum that I was not an interloafer. I painted the entire front entrance with the exception of the really high areas I couldn’t reach. I had left that for Rosie to do. I wonder today if he did ever end up finishing the painting in that area?
If I wasn’t cleaning the house, organizing, or hanging out with Rosie’s kids, I was with Rosie doing Rosie things.
From August, 2023 through to the end of September, 2023, Rosie and I discussed big plans. We were actively co-manifesting a new home together. We also tapped into the tarot. Rosie asked if he and I were going to get married in 2024. The cards said no. I bet he had a sigh of relief inside when the cards highlighted the answer.
I also relinquished my disagreement to another dog. Rosie wanted the full happy family picture. I remembered the work I had done with the other two dogs, Duke I and Duke II, so at first I had said no. I said to Rosie, “if we were to get another dog, I would be the one who has to take care of him. He best be somewhere around four or five years old, fully trained, and have a gentle temperament.
Kody arrived within about a week of me saying that. Kody was a four years old, fully trained, and beautiful to be around, Pomsky. A Pomsky is a Pomeranian and Husky mix. He was the perfect size for me. Someone at Rosie’s work knew someone who was moving back to the Middle East. Kody needed a new home. Kody became my friend right from the first day of getting him. I loved Kody. After all, God filled my order perfectly. What’s not to love?
Rosie and I also discussed ways to advance his new car detailing business. I focused on continuing to create videos on TikTok. My goal was to get the knowledge I have about ego conditioning recognized. I was also educating people on spiritual matters which included deciphering dreams, and spirit consciousness. It was a crapshoot in the dark. I was winging it. Kind of like the way I am now, writing these blogs on a hope and a prayer. The difference this time is, I can hear Clairity loud and clear on a daily basis. Having Clairity has helped me to streamline my thoughts. I trust her guidance through my intuition. Rosie was winging it when it came to his business as well. His challenge is the fact that he didn’t know how to listen to his wise voice inside.
One day, Rosie informed me that we were invited to a wedding. What that meant was, Rosie’s mum was invited to a wedding. Rosie was her driver and companion for the night. If my memory serves me correctly, the wedding took place some time in October, 2023. I was invited because it would have been uncomfortable for Rosie had he not done so.
Rosie took me to a massive indoor market on the Southside of Montreal to buy a new dress for the special occasion. I do enjoy markets. This particular market was Rosie’s go to for his fancy clothes. There was a particular booth with a highly knowledgeable and tasteful tailor. Rosie loved bartering with him in particular. Rosie would leave with a new flashy button up shirt with a big ole grin on his face. He took great pride in his appearance and in how much he saved through his savvy ways. Rosie’s closets were packed full of shirts from that particular booth. Both in the bedroom closet and the coat closet in the living area.
The market near Montreal was also the same market where Rosie bought me a stunning dress back in the year 2021. It wasn’t a suitable dress for a wedding. It’s more for an elegant evening out, or perhaps a fancy party? I’m actually not certain where I would wear the dress. I haven’t exactly lived a fancy life. The royal blue, floor length gown, with cascading gold and silver beading seems out of place in my life at present. I am determined to wear the dress proudly when it’s time though. Especially if I am standing beside a man who genuinely loves me whilst wearing it. Hell yeah, that would be satisfying for my ego.
Being back inside that market stung me a little bit. The reason for my slight twinge was the fact that the price tag was still on the dress he bought back in 2021. The price tag is still on that dress to this day. I have had that dress rolled up inside my suitcase since 2021. Rosie couldn’t seem to find the time nor creativity in making an occasion for me to wear it. What he did have time for, was to get me a decent dress, stat. My wardrobe consists of more second hand clothing and summer dresses. They were not qualified as worthy for a special event in October.
Whilst Rosie was bartering with his special market friend, he told me to wander off and pick out some dresses I liked. As I perused the labyrinth of stalls that seemed to go on for miles, I came across a beautiful salmon coloured dress. It was form fitting with a plunging neckline and had a respectable length to just past my knees. I went back to Rosie so that I could take him to the dress stall to see what my eye had caught.
“It’s nice. Go put it on. See if you like it”, Rosie suggested. With that, I went into the curtained off dressing room. I came out to show Rosie the dress on me. He looked up and down and said, “do you like it?”. I said yes. I did like it.
I am not exactly a fashionista. I have no idea if it truly looked good on me, or if Rosie was simply being polite. The reason I say that is because, when Rosie looked at me in the dress, his energy shifted. I could feel criticizing projections towards me. I could sense his judgment of my body. He also was quick to say, “you need to eat. I’ve got to feed you.”
This shift in energy then woke the little girl in me who used to question my physical beauty. I was insecure in that dress. After we bought the salmon dress, Rosie bought me some gold sparkly thinly heeled sandal shoes. They looked lovely and complimented the dress beautifully. I wore both the dress and the shoes once in my life, which was at the wedding.
On the night of the wedding, Rosie had asked his mum to borrow a broach. I was encouraged to place the broach between my breasts to reduce the amount of cleavage the dress was showing. As soon as I put the broach on I heard Clairity say, “are you dressing for you?, or, are you dressing to please others?”.
I knew I was dressing to please Rosie and his mum. They didn’t want me to give their community the wrong impression of them. Fair enough. I played along.
The wedding experience highlighted how little Rosie interacted with people. Both Rosie and his mum were cordial. Rosie introduced me to a couple of people. Rosie’s mum didn’t say a word to me all evening. It was pleasantly awkward. It wasn’t terrible enough for me to say anything though. I was still committed to fitting in with the family.
That was until I was on Rosie’s tablet one night. I was navigating something or other when I came across Rosie’s opened Messenger app. Right there, in front of my face, was the name Isabel. Beside her name was a text bubble from Rosie reading “d’accord, ma cheri”.
In the event you do not speak french, ma cheri translates into my love in english. Not only did it read ma cheri, the text bubble was sent by Rosie to Isabel on my birthday in the month of May of that year. On May 18th, Rosie called Isabel ma cheri. The best I got from Rosie was Sexy. August 08 of that same year, he’s wearing a lion head shirt and a top of the morning to ya, skip in his step, proclaiming his love for me. I was devastated seeing that. What the fuck! Ma cheri, on my birthday?! Rosie you have some serious explaining to do!
LivWithClairity 
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