(Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect their privacy. Some information may be disturbing for some readers. Read at your discretion. 18+)
Rosie reached out to me on Messenger within about two weeks of my seeing him, and learning of his four, not just two, affairs. Rosie was testing the waters to see how receptive I would be to his advances towards a reconciliation. Before he reached out, I placed thoughts of him aside. Thinking of him was too painful. Instead of thinking of Rosie, I was focused on understanding what had occurred in the hotel room with that booming voice. I had never experienced something quite like that before, nor have I since.
My initial thoughts that brought Clairity into focus was, did I really channel an angel? What are angels? Are they a human construct to create fear of wrath and judgment? Are angels a true divine being of light and darkness, just as humans are of the same creation? Are they reflections of all that is, expressing themselves in a different frequency of light and sound? Are angels simply another form of alien? Everyone is an alien to someone after all.
I imagine, you may consider me alien by the way I process information? You may have even questioned if I suffer from some form of clinically identifiable mental disorder? I have certainly questioned my mental health in my past.
All this is to say, we are alien to each other until we are no longer alien to one another. Only you know you the best. I become less alien to you the more you follow my journey. Until you let me know you, you are alien to me. Everything else is just glitter and lights.
I also can’t imagine angels are at our beckon call. I would be arrogant to think that. Knowing that, what role do they play here on earth? Are they guardians helping through miraculous divine intervention? Do they combat darkness so that we, tiny little humans don’t become too overwhelmed by it all? The questions went on and on. I was so curious about the experience. I’m fairly certain that the experience rattled Rosie a wee bit too.
I have also been made aware of Rosie speaking ill of me and my connection to all that is behind my back since our separation. Sadly, and said without factual proof, only Clairity, Rosie referred to me as being mentally ill, lazy, ungrateful, antisocial, a dark witch, and other not so pleasant names. What stings is knowing he mocked my beliefs.
I know things without people telling me. Not all the time, most times. I also have confidence that what I don’t know today, I will come to know tomorrow with the help of my God. The truth always comes out one way or another.
I trust when I feel Clairity’s energy and the information she whispers to me. I trust Clairity’s words over Rosie’s any day and in any situation. In fact, if you trust someone outside of yourself more than you trust yourself, then you have definitely signed up for a heavy price to pay down the road.
I feel sad and disappointed for Rosie’s and my past connection. Rosie was supposed to be my person. The one my inner little girl was supposed to feel safe with.
It takes a village to raise a child. I am not meant to take care of my inner child by myself. We are made to be social. You and another, just like another and myself, are made to co-create our world together. At one time I was in an illusion of trust and safety, not actually seeing that I was unsafe. We only see what we want to see. We only see clearly when we choose to see the truth.
Your divine person has an important role in your life. They are the ones who help you keep your inner child nourished and safe to the best and utmost of their ability. You in turn are honored with taking care of your person’s inner child as well.
We are guardians for each other. If you treat your inner child like shyte, you would likely be impatient and unapproachable with others as well. Therefore you would inadvertently treat others like shyte. Two children can only get along when they are not grumpy within themselves. Adults are bigger versions of the same thing.
Rosie’s inner child was stuck in a fetal position, inside his own personal cave. He was unable to see the breathtaking waterfall. I did my best to pull him out like the way Grandpa Joe saved me from mine. Rosie has free will. I have no say over his choices. Knowing that doesn’t make the pain of loss less real. Healing is a process that requires the allowance of divine timing and self love.
Our ideal plan rarely goes exactly the way we ideally plan it to go. Today I can accept all is not as it seems. Even the sweetest of looking creatures can bite you in the ass hard enough that you wouldn’t be able to sit down again for a week afterwards. I would know. My mother used to brag to my friends that she bit my ass after I bit my brother’s, in order to teach me a lesson. I was three years old at the time.
My mother is a shorter woman. She used to say, “good things come in small packages”. Yeah, true, so does dynamite.
Rosie was sweet to look at and extremely hard to resist or digest. Being with Rosie is too high of a price to pay in the end. I would have paid the price of losing myself had I stayed with him.
Clairity interrupted my plethora of questions about angels.
“Clair, you have many valid questions. You also have the answers. Can you recall the adventure you had during a sleep state, when you spoke to an elderly woman?”.
I do remember that dream. I remember it vividly. Like it happened last night. I am still curious about it to this day.
It was sometime between 1990 and 1992. This dream left me more curious than anything else. In my dream I was sitting in a long, narrow, wooden boat. There was a man all in black using a long paddle behind me. He was standing on the flat wood right at the peak of the boat. I guess you could consider it like a gondola boat in Venice. With the guide pushing the water with a long ore to create movement.
The presence behind me was strong and silent whilst gliding us down the waterway. The man was wearing a black hooded, floor length robe, with the hood covering his face. I felt like the size of an ant in comparison to his height and energy. One might consider him to look like a Grimm reaper of sorts, but without a scythe. Since he was quietly guiding me through tall buildings on either side of us, I asked him, “am I on the River Styx?” The man gave no response.
The reason I think I asked if I was on the River Styx was because I had associated it with another dream I had prior to this one. I also loved Greek Mythology in school, so it could have easily been my subconscious associating with that learning and bleeding the knowledge into my dream state.
As we continued to move in silence I noticed I was wearing a light cream colored gown. Kind of like a flowy nightgown. The cloth was light and beautiful to look at. After admiring the clothes I was wearing, I looked up to see three massive figures standing together in a clearing to my left.
The clearing was situated in between buildings I was passing by. As soon as I saw the three beings, I bowed my head. I felt I would be dishonoring them if I looked directly at them in the eyes. I have no idea why I felt that way. I simply knew they were to be respected.
The three figures were extremely tall and slender. I’d estimate to be at least eight feet tall. They had iridescent shimmering skin that glistened when the light hit them. Like the way movies often depict vampire looking skin.
Do you know what I mean?
Two of them had the same melanin, assuming that’s what you would call it?, and one was slightly different. The best way I can describe them would be by acknowledging, they looked similar to the elves in the Lord of the Rings series. Two with lighter irridescent skin, and the other slightly darker in appearance. They seemed to be intersex as well. I was unable to distinguish between male or female. They were stunning to look at.
I kept my head bowed as we slowly drifted around a corner. My water guide and I travelled down the narrow watery passageway until we stopped to pay particular attention to a man, and a woman, standing on the landing in front of an ornate looking building. The two people were wearing long royal blue robes with white accents. Similar to that of graduation, or choir gowns.
The female was shorter than the male by a good foot. At first, I thought the woman with alburn hair was my great aunt Mary. It may have been, dunno for certain. When we stopped in front of the people, I was under the impression that I was to get out of the boat. I went to stand up when a voice from behind me said, “stay seated”. With that, the two people smiled at me, then we started moving again.
I think we may have passed by another four buildings. There were different ones on either side of me, before the boat finally came to its full stop resting place. In front of me was a wide open body of water. To the left of me was a white wall. To the right was a pathway leading to some stone steps that curved around a quaint little building. There was where I got out. I didn’t look back in the dimly lit waterway. I didn’t see the reaper man leave. Instead, I was focused on going up the stairs.
When I reached the top of the stairs, I came to an elderly looking woman on my right hand side. She was standing on the front stoop of her home. Her home looked like a home you would find in Mykonos Greece. Only dark in color, rather than white.
As soon as I saw her I posed two questions, “am I supposed to use my psychic abilities to help others? Is that what I am meant to do?”.
The woman looked up at me, smiled, then telepathically said, “only you know the answer to that. Keep going sweetheart”.
With that, I smiled at her, turned around, and walked further up the path until I opened my eyes in my bedroom.
That dream rushed back to me when I watched “What Dreams May Come”, starring Robin Williams, and Annabella Sciorra. There is a scene where Christy, played by Robin Williams, travels on a boat. I think it’s that scene that makes What Dreams May Come my favorite movie of all time. No other movie has come close to the sentiment I hold for that movie. The movie validated my experiences in perception throughout my life, beautifully.
“Yes Clair, that’s correct. The beings you saw before the elderly lady, who were they to you?”, Clairity asked.
I don’t really know. My intuition tells me they are angels. My logic questions this idea.
“You are learning to decipher, and understand your intuition, yes? Who they are is for you to discover and rationalize, not for me to tell you at this time. Do you remember your excursion with Grandpa Joe in the city?”, Clairity questioned.
Yes, like the first dream, I remember that excursion vividly.
The city dream with Grandpa Joe occurred sometime between 2004 and 2006. I know it was before I opened a spiritual center in September of 2006.
Grandpa Joe came to me the same way he had done most other times, simply appearing in front of the bedroom closet doors. When I saw Grandpa Joe, I left my body and floated over to him. I stood in front of him in my usual spot. Within inches of my face, Grandpa Joe motioned my eyes to close with the palm of his hand. When he removed his palm from in front of my face, I opened my eyes. I was standing on a sidewalk beside Grandpa Joe on my left.
The sidewalk Grandpa Joe and I were standing on was in a busy city. To give reference, I would say the environment was similar to that of New York City, in New York, USA. I hadn’t been to New York at that time. Today I can identify the similarities.
Grandpa Joe was standing to my left and looking straight ahead. I looked up at him to see where he was facing. With that, my curiosity took over. I looked where he was looking, which was across the busy street.
On the other side of the street was another sidewalk. There were many people walking fast, and slow, in both directions. I could make out their physical appearances somewhat. What stood out more was the rainbow of colors in their auric fields. Not all people had the same color sequences. Some were more red. Some were purple and green. Others were orange and yellow. Some were all the colors in one silhouette.
As these colourful beings, whom I intuitively knew were human, walked, a light being walked with them. I could only make out a sillouette of golden light. The beings floated about two or three feet above the rainbow people. Some had two light beings with them, whilst others had only one. All had guiding forces walking with them. That was apparently clear.
“Clair, look over there”, Grandpa Joe lovingly instructed.
As Grandpa Joe extended his arm, and pointed his index finger, he glided his arm to the right. My eyes followed is motion. Grandpa Joe was showing me an alleyway.
The alleyway was no different than any other alleyway you would see in a city. It wasn’t the alleyway that caught my attention. It was the five shadow people I saw that puzzled me.
“It’s important to remember Clair, they do exist”, my Grandpa Joe said like a loving dad would say to his daughter before her first date.
The shadow people were all huddled together. None of them expressed light, nor had a light being standing close to them. They looked like black robed monks with no face and no distinguishable light. They freaked me out a little.
Grandpa Joe went further on to explain, “most are of light. Few are unpleasant. Some interfere when ruled not to. Some cause havoc where havoc need not apply. Remain aware. Close your eyes dear”. With that, I closed my eyes then woke up in my bed.
I thought, what is the point of remembering this dream when it came to angels?
Clairity finished her teaching of that day by saying, “not all is as it seems. You are guided. Most are. The guiding forces are loving, wise, and always open to assist. Some people may see angels. Some people may see ancestors. Some people may see a god of sorts. We are imagined beings living a beautifully imagined existence. If you can imagine it long enough, whatever it is you imagine forms into being.
Conscious energy forms into a being you are familiar with within your imagination. An angel does not know the way you see them, any more than you can see your own true reflection. If you believe in angels, then angels exist. If you believe angels are aliens, then aliens it is. However you depict creation is perfectly fine with creation. Do you understand?”, Clairity asked.
I do yes, and I don’t. Perhaps it is because our ego is so hell bent on labels and identification.
“Exactly” Clairity stated, with dare I say, a cheeky vibe.
Life is fascinating isn’t it? I think that conversation with Clairity inadvertently softened me up to Rosie. The city dream helped me to remember, Rosie is a light being. Granted a lost light being. A light being nonetheless.
The reason I say I softened up by weaponizing empathy against myself, because, I agreed to let Rosie lure me back in with his charm. His attempt at redemption was enough to get me to ignore my higher wisdom once again.
Or, did it? Perhaps I was meant to go back to Rosie’s? Perhaps there was valuable knowledge to gain. Perhaps I was entering my graduating year? Time will tell.
Wanna go back to Montreal with me?
LivWithClairity 
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