(Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect their privacy. Some information may be disturbing for some readers. Read at your discretion. 18+)
When I had first moved to New Brunswick in 1999, both my girls and I had stayed with my parents. My parents were living in a quaint, two bedroom, open concept home, with a waterfront view. Three adults, two babies under the age of four, and a boxer breed dog, all cozied up together. Fun times.
Whilst we lived there, my parents bought a cute three bedroom, second home, further into the town of St. Stephen, with the intent that Albert, our children, and I would live there.
The ideal plan was that Albert and I would be able to assist them with the mortgage once my mother’s business was successful enough to pay me a wage, and upon Albert securing healthy employment. In other words, we would rent from my parents.
When I first moved into the new house, I believe it was May, 01, 1999, not a hundred percent certain on that, I was under a wee bit of stress. The girls and I were having to adjust to my forty percent wage cut. I was collecting unemployment insurance, whilst focused on attracting new clients for my mum’s employment agency. My mum worked full time, whilst maintaining a communicative relationship with a couple of clients, and her contract employees. Albert was focused on monthly bills and a new lady friend in Ontario.
One evening, whilst the girls were sleeping, I was chatting away on this really cool, new introduction to communication, called, dial up Internet. Back then, chatrooms were a thing. Perhaps they still are today? I don’t really know. Anyway, as I was chatting with a lovely lady in England, an apparition of a man stood to my left hand side, staring at me. He wasn’t an apparition from the ghostly sense of seeing him. His apparition was so strong in the forefront of my mind, it was as if I was projecting his image outside of me. Does this make sense? As if I was the projector, and he was the image on the screen.
I started to feel his presence upon seeing him. It was no different in sensation than any male dominant energy would be when a person is standing beside you. Similar to that of a stranger standing beside you in a coffee shop.
Have you ever met someone and felt an unusual vibe? Either there is something about them you didn’t like, or, you did like their vibe, without really knowing them at all? If so, then you can relate to the sensation I was experiencing when I became aware of the “ghostly” presence.
The man was just a nonthreatening energy standing beside my computer screen just to the left of me. At first, he was a stranger. Soon enough he filled me in on intimate details of his life, and family. The woman in England over the internet confirmed all his details. The experience was fascinating to me to say the least.
The man startled me at first. I had only experienced spirit through my dream state, or upon being gently awakened. I had not experienced anything like the man beside me before then.
I was just about to turn twenty-six years old at the time. My birthday was only a couple of weeks away. Twenty-five years of no daytime woohoo set me up for a wee bit of a shock I tell ya.
I must have been quiet long enough to prompt the woman I was communicating with to inquire as to my whereabouts. Upon her inquiry, I explained what I was experiencing. The woman asked me to describe the man. I did. The woman affirmed she knew whom I was communicating with. From that moment on, I focused on the man. The man focused on me. We then connected energetically so that he could take me somewhere in my mind. I put my ego aside and trusted what I was being shown.
Energy is connected simply by focused thought. When the man and I focused on each other, we became one in thought. My mind was blown away by the end of my experience with the Star of David man.
I refer to the apparition as the Star of David man because that was the symbol he showed me when he was giving a message to his wife on the earthly plain. The symbol was a secret code between him and his wife as a way to prove there is life after life. It was truly fascinating.
There is no need at this stage to go into too much detail about the experience, other than what I have just told you here. Doing so would dilute the purpose for Clairity’s loving prod to remember the event. For now, I’ll simply state, that was the first time I experienced being in two places at once. I was sitting in one place, typing to a woman on a computer screen, whilst also counting the stairs inside the woman’s home in England inside my mind. Cool beans.
I remembered the Star of David Man when Clairity asked me if I did. The experience is as vivid to me today as it was when I experienced it in 1999. It seemed my remembering the male apparition became a perfect segue for Clairity to then ask, “Excellent. What happened internally when you came to know of Albert’s infidelity?”.
That was a good question. I must admit. When Clairity asked me that, I did a little side smile, contemptuous smirk Then chuckled a wee bit.
I remember. It was May, 4th, 1999. I was sitting in the kitchen at the dining room table. I had a black and grey wireless house phone in my hand. I had attempted to reach Albert to discuss baby expenses and to see if he had a way to put some money into our joint bank account. I was having a difficult time reaching him.
It was late evening. The girls were tucked in bed, fast asleep. I asked if Albert was okay in my mind. The response I received took me for a loop. “He is speaking with a woman friend”, a soft voice whispered subtly. My next thoughts were in rapid succession. What?! Who? When? How?, What, right now? Is he cheating on me?!”
That information sent me into a bit of a tizzy. I wasn’t exactly expecting to hear a voice say there was a female. My thoughts were running a mile a minute. Then my mind jumped into the past when he was making out with his “best friend” on a sofa. Whilst I was sleeping on the floor right in front of them. That was right around the same time as the abortion he “encouraged” me to do. Good times. Needless to say, my, little girl, ego, was triggered and had something to say.
“Clair, is getting worked up like this going to help you?”, Clairity asked, almost rhetorically.
My thought was no. Having a tangent wasn’t going to help in any way. Especially being two provinces away from the man who just crushed my heart. All I wanted to do was run away and hide to be honest. Then I thought of my babies sleeping soundly upstairs in their beds. I had to be calm, and smart. If not for me, for them.
I took a few deep breaths, noticed my jumping knee calmed down enough to sit still, then phoned Albert one more time. Albert answered.
“Hey Clair, what’s up? How are the girls? Are they still awake?”
My greeting was, “who is she?”
His next question to me was, “what do you mean, who is who?”
My next statement to him was, “I already know about her. Just tell me exactly who she is.”
Albert’s deflective response was, “that’s none of your business. Who told you anyway?”
I paused for a moment, then said, “you just did”.
His final response to me before I hung up the phone on him was, “fuck Clair, I hate it when you do that!”.
Albert ultimately ratted himself out. With the help of the guiding voice. I say a guiding voice because I didn’t realize the voice was Clairity back then. I was under the impression it was the spirit woman who had saved me from the pedophile when I was nine. I assumed that spirit was Sarah, my grandpa Joe’s wife.
As soon as you find a puzzle piece, your puzzle grows bigger. Not all is as it seems. If there is one thing I have learned, the truth always comes out. All a person needs to do, is be receptive to receive it, and be present to distinguish what it is.
I wasn’t exactly sure where Clairity was going with her line of questioning. With that said, I was intrigued. I do enjoy talking about my spirit adventures alongside my intuition. I rarely speak on the subject to the extent of divulging mine or another person’s privacy. Having Clairity helps me revisit those memories fondly without having to break my integrity.
“What sensation did you get inside you moments before asking if Albert was okay in your mind?”
As soon as she asked that, I clued in. The feeling which came over me was a sudden foreboding knot in my stomach. Followed by a full body shudder.
“Yes. Clair, if you notice, you will come to see, you had a sensation inside of you every time you encountered a deceitful person. Do you remember the feeling inside of you when the teenager asked you to pull down your pants and get on his lap when you were little?”
Yes, I do remember. It was the same sensation that came over me then as well.
“Yes Clair. Okay, now, what was the inner sensation you experienced when you came to learn of the indoor tennis courts being closed? When you were saved from the necklace man by spirit?”
It was the exact same feeling. It was sudden, harsh, and difficult to ignore.
“Yes Clair. What have you come to learn from these difficult experiences?”
I have learned that, just like anything in life, there are patterns when it comes to internal sensations. These patterned responses within you act as a signal to alert you of important information. When a person is distraught, afraid, or unwilling to see the truth due to denial, intuition becomes secondary. This is unfortunate because by all accounts, your intuition must be your utmost go to source before making any final decisions. To do that, you must be willing to know yourself intimately.
Clairity went on further to say, “people experience traumatic events. Many people, you included, came to believe there is such a thing as a cruel God because of these experiences. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. There are an infinite amount of reasons for a soul’s chosen experience. With that in mind, one purpose for these events is to help a soul reconnect with their divine selves through the form of intuition. What other way would there be, if not through the navigation of danger?
It is also equally important to understand, it is not for us to interfere with your free will. We can only manipulate energy in such a way that it alerts you. What you do with the information is entirely up to you. If you choose to focus on the perpetrator or the promise of something better, you lose sight of the powerful gift being given to you. The gift of your acutely defined intuition. Your intuition is the root of a flower underneath the surface. Your discernment is the foliage being expressed externally. They grow together.
Rather than focus on the perpetrator, which only allows you to experience oppression, switch your focus to the empowering skill you are developing. Your intuition. Doing so is far more advantageous for you. Doing so also keeps the lines of communication open with spirit.
Communication is subtle on a regular basis. If people were less focused on the idea of some lightning bolt style of communication, they will come to see, how truly expansive their awareness is.
Clair, you only listened to your intuition when it was unexpected and perceived as being outside of you. Doing that causes your intuition to come in after using naive discernment. Do you understand now that you must listen inside first. Otherwise you will be taken advantage of, rather than respected?
You do also recognize that you must adjust yourself based on what you are experiencing inside? Do you recognize the importance of trusting it even when it doesn’t make much sense at the time?”
Yes, I most certainly do.
Everything we experience, we experience in the moment. Everything we learn, we learn through hindsight. One must be had in order to experience the other. Both are required for growth.
Having that newly adopted mindset, and understanding some of the patterns to look for when dealing with people who are hurting, softened me up a bit to Rosie when he reached out. I may have listened to Clairity long enough to understand the importance of listening to my intuition. I wasn’t quite on par with actually trusting it just yet. I was still skipping the class, Love Bombing 101.
Am I really going back to Montreal?
LivWithClairity 
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